Always Playing Catch-Up

It's so weird, but I feel like no matter how good my intentions are, I'll never be able to write every day. There's always something I want to write about, but my focus has been shot for months. I'd like to write a witty, intelligent, well-researched blog, but that takes time, and I never seem to have any. I was clicking through some stuff tonight and realized I haven't written since Thanksgiving! There's no way I could even catch up on writing about all the things that have happened since then, but here are a few highlights:

• Christmas was held at our apartment this year. It actually went really well, and we got 22 people in here (including 4 kids) for dinner. I was exhausted after, but it was a great day, and my mom got us a new microwave -- after not having one for a year, thereby forcing ourselves to actually cook, it has become a convenience, but not a dependence!
• New Years' Eve was quiet. Hubby worked, I stayed home and relaxed. I'm not a fan of being out celebrating... just because *I* don't drink and drive doesn't mean there aren't a million other inconsiderate assholes out there.
• I got A's in all four of my classes last semester, so for the first time ever in my life, I have an overall 4.0 GPA in college, with two semesters under my belt. Woo Hoo!
• We were supposed to take a group trip to Walt Disney World, leaving next weekend, but had to postpone until the end of May. As much as we're sorry to be missing our trip with friends and family (who are all still going next week), we found out that it will be a "Star Wars Weekend" while we are there in May, and that's kind of a little bit awesome. We're really psyched!
• I started a new job, working with a girl with cerebral palsy. In addition to being a, shall we say, spiritually rewarding job, I laugh all day. She is an odd mixture of toddler and teenager, and while much of my laughter is at her inappropriate comments, she is hilarious. I adore her, the job is fabulous, and she has gotten me hooked on the tv show Glee, which brings me to my next point.
• I am officially a Gleek, and relatively proud of it. I cannot think of another show that has addressed every teen issue out there (with I'm sure more to come) with such wit, humor and honesty... plus the singing is awesome lol...
• I've also become addicted to Robot Chicken, and am anxiously awaiting the new season of True Blood.

I have to get back to reading... I promise to try to blog more often, with more important or funnier things to say!

Am I Thankful? Oh yes...

With Thanksgiving tomorrow, it would be selfish not to openly acknowledge a few of the things (and people) I am thankful for:

• My husband: without him, I'm lost. He's my true north (feel free to gag at my gushing). He supports me materially, financially and emotionally. He's generally a good guy, even when he's a jerk, and he always knows how to make me laugh. I'm blessed to have found him, and I am thankful every single day; even when I want to run him over with the car...
• My mom: she's been my hero all my life, and continues to be. She's the epitome of the American dream, even when she's struggling. She fights her battles with the world daily, but always has time to listen, give a hug, or share a cup of tea and some cookies. She always knows what each of us needs, whether it's encouragement, or a kick in the ass, and is excellent at providing both!
• My family: parents, step-parents, siblings, siblings-in-law, step-siblings, nieces, nephews, gram, aunts, uncles, cousins... There's a lot of dimension to family, especially in mine. There's a lot of complexity, a lot of drama, and also a lot to be grateful for. My siblings, and for the most part their spouses, are among my best friends. It wasn't always that way, and I'm extremely grateful that now, as adults, we've all found a way to be a (generally) united front, at least vs. the world at large, if not within our own circle! Nobody can make us laugh the way we do with each other, and in a world where so many people don't speak to their families at all, we're extremely lucky to have each other! I'd also like to mention that there is no joy in the world quite like one of the kids saying, "I love you Aunt Jenn"... Nope, no joy like it...
• My in-laws: they raised a hell of a man, for which they should be proud, but they took me in as if I were one of their own, and they've been wonderful surrogate parents to me.
• Friends: I let go of some bad friends, made some new friends, and reconnected with some old friends... I know who I can depend on for what, and each of my "best" friends has a part of my heart that nobody else can ever occupy. I love you all.

I'm also grateful for things like the opportunity to finally finish my college degree, tracing my family's roots and making connections with distant relatives in the process, and learning more about who I am and why. Life is good, I am blessed, and I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

So I'm taking a forced break from homework tonight; over the last four days, I wrote 2 essays, 2 papers, and read about 400 pages between my various texts. I'm tired.

That being said, I am loving school. Being back in the swing of things, having a set routine, and adjusting to a full course load after so many years, it's been a rough 2 months... I'm finally settling down though, and for four courses, I'm currently averaging all A's.

I have three literature courses this semester, and a history course. I have "United States Women's History", "Literature and Society", "US Lit to 1865", and "Women, Commodification and the Rise of the Novel". Interesting, no?? Two of the classes are independent studies, and two are online, which is a completely new experience for me.

The online classes are lots of fun... I do the work all at my own pace, at 2 in the morning, if I feel like it, but almost surely while relaxed in pjs with a nice cup of coffee or tea... The online discussions are interesting, though I find myself being an elitist snob and wondering why people cannot write functional sentences sometimes... not everyone, just some of them! I mean, the boxes have a spell-check button, for goodness' sake!

Anyway, that's about where my head has been... I'm hoping to free up some more time to write here...

Doubts about Veganhood

About three months ago, the husband watched an undercover video about animal cruelty on a dairy farm. He got me to watch the same video, and I was forced to turn it off in less than a minute. I don't really have the stomach to watch cows getting poked in the eyes with a pitchfork, or hearing them CRY. It made me nauseous, and not that I didn't know this kind of behavior goes on in the world, but it's convenient to forget. People say, "Well, it doesn't happen on every farm," or "We're the superior race," or "Our bodies are designed to eat meat," or some other argument. In three short months, I have heard them all.


The result of us watching this video is that Jim decided to return to veganhood, a lifestyle he'd lived for eight years in his youth, and which he'd ended on a doctor's orders. It was on part desire-to-lose-weight, and 9 parts social consciousness, something I found incredibly endearing. Jim was poised to take this leap on his own, but coming from years of eating out ALL the time, junk food galore, and a generally bad diet, I knew that sticking to something so harsh and rigorous might be hard for him if I was still eating anything I chose.


So I got a few books about the vegan life, did lots of online research, and spent a few days thinking about things and talking to a nutritionist, who happens to be one of my best friends. Giving up meat would be no huge ordeal for me, and would probably cost us a good bit less too. I've never been a big red-meat eater, but chicken... well, it's three months later and I'm still missing chicken, if I'm being totally honest. Sometimes, those KFC commercials make me weak, hahaha. Regardless, I ultimately made the committment to become a vegetarian, albeit a modified one.

I've given up all meats, as I said. No more chicken cutlet-fresh mozzerella heroes. No more roast beef for Sunday dinner at Gram's. No more bacon-egg-cheese breakfast sandwiches from the deli. All of this, I can live with. Jim took it a step further -- no animal products whatsoever. He's drinking soy milk or rice milk or almond milk now, and no eggs at all. We both agree that the rice cheese tastes so much better than the soy cheese, and I find it melts better too.

Eggs, milk and cheese are confusing. None of it is anything we need to survive. From a purely health-oriented standpoint, all of it is actually almost bad for you, but because of things like the National Dairy Council, and the billions of dollars these industries produce, these items are marketed as vital items for a daily diet. Did you know that humans are the only animal on the planet that drink milk past weaning? We're also the only animal on the planet that drinks the milk of another animal, but breast-feeding is a touchy subject with me and I'll talk about it at another time.

I used to eat eggs probably two or three times a week. In the last three months, I've specifically had eggs as a meal only once. I don't see me cooking them for myself anymore either, because amazingly enough, I don't miss what they do to my stomach!

Milk is another animal entirely, no pun intended! I don't generally drink milk by the glass, but I like it in my cereal, my coffee, and my tea. Now, yes, I can substitue soy milk (or others) into my drinks, which are fine, but I'm food-weird, and I like white milk in my cereal. it's an aesthetic thing, and the other milks aren't white!! Beige, yellowish, brownish... but not white LOL. And cheese... I used to buy cheese by the brick, slice it all up, and eat it as a snack with crackers and pepperoni. Well, bye bye pepperoni, but giving up cheese and crackers? Can I really do it?

I've been buying "organic" milk and cheese since I've committed to vegetarianism. Not "USDA Organic", because their standards for "organic"are very, very lax, but specific organic brands which I've been able to research. My game plan is to wean myself off these things altogether over the next couple of months, but if I don't, I can live with it.

I wouldn't say I'm completely comfortable with the whole "alternative diet lifestyle" yet, but without any other difference besides what I'm eating, I'm down 15 pounds, my hair and nails are strong and healthy for the first time in longer than I can remember, my skin is clearing up for the most part... all positive things!

Only time will tell how faithful we'll remain to this major lifestyle change, and whether or not I will give up dairy and join jim as a full vegan... for now I say I'm almost-vegan... it works for me!

So You Think You Can Dance?

I watched the season 7 finale of So You Think You Can Dance tonight. I've never followed the show before, but this season, I watched on and off. The sheer strength and beauty of these dancers is beyond belief. I was never, on my best day, as good as these kids on their worst days, but still it makes me long for the days when I used to dance!

I learned ballet, tap, and jazz, starting at age 4. I still can recall the ballet terms, and while standing at the sink washing dishes will find myself doing plies and tendus and battements and frappes. I can remember my twenty-one one-sounds from tap. I remember the day I auditioned for the company, and how nervous I was. I was nine, and terrified, but I made it! It turned my dance career from one-hour a week to several hours over several days a week.

Ballet is a beautiful thing, and when done "properly", it is regal. Watching a prima ballerina perform is like watching BB King play the blues or Babe Ruth hitting home runs. It can inspire feelings in even the most emotionally-stunted people, and it's simply live art work. Mikhail Baryshnikov was my idol as a young girl. He fascinated me. You can see a video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yedtUaNLkA of him dancing with Natalia Makarova, in a pas de deux (dance for two) from Tchaikovsky's The Sleeping Beauty. He was ground-breaking.

Tap, though... tap is a different animal entirely. Tap could be rigid, it could be fluid, but it's all about rhythm and sound. Tap might have been my first real "love"... Every number I ever performed that I would consider a *favorite* was a tap number. If ever I possessed any true skill in the varied arts of dance, it was in tap, and whenever I think about returning to dancing, it's always tap that I want to do.

Eleanor Powell and Fred Astaire were arguably one of the best duos of all time, though anybody that Mr. Astaire partnered was automatically made even more fabulous, just for dancing with him. The Nicholas Brothers, Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, Gene Kelly, Sammy Davis, Jr, Gregory Hines, Savion Glover... all timeless, and all masters of their craft. Fred Astaire was inspired by men like The Nicholas Brothers and Bill Robinson, and was a classy, talented white man in a field which was traditionally African-American. There is a joy that comes from watching him dance, and when I see Savion Glover dance nowadays, it brings me the same joy.

If there's anything not-health-related inspiring me to get thin and healthy again, it's the thought of perhaps being able to dance again!

Getting to Know You... er, Me...

Hi, my name is Jenn, and I'm... well, I'm complicated, for starters. I'm 33, married to a great guy, Jim, and I have two cairn terriers, Murphy and Penny, aka "the jerks". I'm a full-time college student, and I work a few different part-time jobs. I'm a klutz. I come from a very large family, and I love them all. I love to read, to bake, and to laugh. I'm newly embracing the vegetarian/vegan lifestyle, and exploring homeopathy, natural remedies, and getting my mind and body healthy. I like photography. I love all things Disney. I'm currently researching my ancestry and my husband's. I like to travel. I'm emotional and irrational and a whiny, bitchy girl sometimes, but I'm smart, kind, loving, caring, loyal and supportive most other times. So why am I writing a blog, and how do I expect to have time to keep up with it?

I have so many things going on in my life, and I want to chronicle my day-to-day journey. I have no idea if I'll get to it every day, or even once a week. I am opinionated though, and on any given day, who knows what will set me off and make me want to write! I want to share my silly life, like when we come home from a long day and the dogs have couch-cushion-filling scattered all over the living room, or I go to open a container of juice and my hand spazzes out and I drop it all over the kitchen floor. At least I can laugh at myself, and I'm fine with others laughing at me too!

It's also a matter of tracking the daily triumphs, too, like conquering my weight goals, trying out new recipes, creating an awesome cake with my soon-to-be-sister-in-law Michelle, or getting an A in school.

I won't be ranting everyday, and while I can occasionally be clever and witty, I have to work really hard at it, so this won't [intentionally] be a comedy blog either. It will just be... me.